Day 131

What a day… I woke up at 7 (vom) then went back to bed and got up again at 10 (love) then I ate breakfast, got dressed, and went outside. I raked with Jonathan for 2 hours. (It might not have been that long, but it felt like it) I had my headphones in, and I jammed.

I feel like more and more music has become my life. I get home from school and can’t function until I sit down and play the piano for a while, I can’t do my math/physics homework without my iPod, I can’t cook without Pandora, I can’t clean my room without CD’s, and I can’t drive without the radio. Music is like this language that speaks to me deeply. I don’t always speak my mind. When I’m frustrated, angry, upset, depressed, heart-broken, or deeply hurt I don’t always express that. But with music you can say all of that, plus the happy things which I am so good at communicating. I can sing some Ben Rector and say how sad I am, or Clarensau when I’m in thought, Skillet when I’m mad, Jillian Edwards when I’m lovey-dovey, Steve Moakler when I’m conflicted and so much more. My life is music, and I guess each of us are our own song. I’m the melody, my passions are the bass, my circumstances are the drums, the people around me are the harmonies, and my emotions and reactions are those little random noises that make it interesting. We all have a song, and it varies for each of us. I’m just not sure how mine will turn out.

I got to hang out with some of my really good friends today. We all went to Gretchen’s house to watch the Iron Man movies. I had seen the first one but not the second. So Meesh, AZ, Gretchen, Maddie, Forrest, Brett and I all watched them. It was so fun! We had spaghetti and watched Who’s Line is it Anyway? and played with fireworks and had an all around amazing time! I have felt really tense and it was just amazing to just have fun with some of my favorite people.

I’ve been thinking a lot today. Guys can be sooo silly, complicating, and blind. Life, can be so utterly crazy all of the time. Stuff can just drive me crazy. There is obviously a silly, complicated boy who I really like who just doesn’t notice. However, I’ve decided that while I may be silly, I’m not the type of silly girl who will waste my time thinking about silly boys who don’t like me back. This doesn’t mean I can’t sing Hesitate and think of him and his blue eyes every time (because I love that song.) I’ve also been thinking about limits. What I will and won’t put up with. And I’ve realized that I’m so done with “bad touch.” I love to be touched, I like to get hugs, have my back scratched, have my hair played with, to sit close to people. But I am done with people causing me pain because they think it’s funny (we may be friends, but when it hurts one person it ceases to be cool), and I am done with certain creepy males touching me altogether. This guy I sit next to has continued to ignore me when I tell him to not touch me in anyway shape or form. ERG! I’m a serious human being, so why does no one listen to me? So much frustration. My oppinions and wants are at least semi important right? (If you disagree feel free to keep that to yourself) 🙂

Random fact of the Day- Canada is the second largest country in the world and the 9th least populated. Crazy Canadians 🙂

Mission of the Day- think about the music of your life.

Love you!



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