Day 177

What a day… I truly didn’t do much today. But I found a good bit of… I’m not sure… Peace. Contended-ness. I just breathe…

I spent a good amount of time reading this blog today. It’s the kind of sappy thing that I can feel for. It just makes me think.

I’ve been thinking about the idea of love. I’ve told you more than once that I’m a romantic, but I think that in a lot of ways our society romanticizes “love” and in other ways it devalues love. It’s interesting to look at it that way. We are so in love with the idea of love, and then when we get this “love” we proceed to ruin it.

“When it comes to love, love of the romantic kind, she is an expert. Maybe not in making it last, but in feeling it, in experiencing it, in finding it. She falls in love with all kinds of people. People with minds completely different from hers. People with free spirits and big unconventional dreams. Dreams so huge they scare her. She likes those kind of dreams, for the dream itself is more important than it coming true. Just to have dared to dream it, to have thought of it, to have truly believed in it, that is enough. Those people, those people with big dreams and free spirits, they make her take chances and let go of her fears. They open up her mind, they make her live deeper. She never intends for any of her relationships to last forever. The love is always intense, full, and everlasting, even though the relationships end. Her relationships always end with a smiling goodbye, when they are both ready to move on. Sometimes she bumps into an old lover and the love is always still there. There are no broken hearts, no sadness, no anger, for there is mutual understanding; You can’t capture a free spirit. I love that you live as makes you happy, stranger, even if people might not understand.”

Very interesting to me. Quote I found on this blog. I’m not sure how I feel about it, or if all or any or it applies to me. But there are things in that that I see within myself.

The song “Love Life” has been hitting me.

Heartaches and mistakes,
how many hits can a good girl take.
I’m tired of hurting, slowly learning
Irate you’re too late.
Look at the mess that you’ve created
First date you slight hate
Love life
What’s that?

It just makes me chuckle.

I was reading my journal from a couple months ago. I had written about a certain boy “I think I’m in love.” I literally laughed out loud. It’s funny what emotions do to us. But I know it’s just not true. I wasn’t in love, I’m not in love, and I probably won’t be for years to come. There’s a difference between loving somebody and being in love with somebody. I don’t know how love works always, and I don’t know… maybe love is far easier to fall into than most people say. Maybe it will be sooner than later. But for now I’m content to love.

Sure, I love the idea of falling in love. But I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a skeptic. People get hurt so easily. And that doesn’t mean we should hesitate to love. “You like the kind who don’t hesitate” But we should hesitate in giving our hearts away. The heart is the well spring of life. And they’re dangerous things. I’ll admit it. I’m afraid of heartbreak. It’s not a wound that’s quick to heal. “I know the pain of a heart break.” That’s not to say that there aren’t people I like and crushes I have and times I fall. As we all know, I’m a fall-er. And I want what most girls want. But I’m not pursuing life, life will happen as it happens. And I am excited for the adventure of the days ahead.

Random Fact of the Day- Thyroid cancer is the most common form of endocrine cancer. (I’m doing a stupid project and this is what I did research on. Don’t judge.)

Mission of the Day- Do a jig. No music allowed. Do it somewhere random where there are people and make a funny face.

Love you!



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