Day 193

What to say, what to say?

I’ve been thinking about Taylor Swift. (because there are days that require that kind of metal decompression) I’ll say it right now. The song “Never Grow Up” makes me cry every time. My little sister Kayra is turning 10 and I just don’t want her to grow up. And I think about how much I wanted to grow up. How ready I was to get on with my life and be a grown up. I wanted to be mature. And there are times when I still feel like that. Ready to move on and be in charge of my own life. But I miss being a kid. So I’ve kinda been going through this 2 year stage of recapturing my childhood. Taking more pictures, playing with Barbies, having Lightsaber battles, laughing, wearing footie pajamas, dancing, finding my old toys, painting, coloring books, and just having fun. I’ll be OK with growing up, but I’m not ready to leave behind all the great memories.

Thinking about “Forever and Always” I actually laughed out loud to myself. Over the summer I worked at this place making bracelets and laser-ing writing into them. And this little couple (probably 14) wanted bracelets that had their names on it, and on the inside they wanted the words “Forever & Always” because they were going to be together “Forever & Always” all I could think was good luck burning those in 4 weeks. Couldn’t tell you exactly how I feel about dating at that age. It’s not the worst idea on the face of the planet.

I’ve kinda had a hard day. Just a lot of things bringing me down. Snarky comments and mean looks just dampen your spirit. I’d like to say that I don’t care what other people think of me. I think we’d all like to say that. But in reality, when someone is rude to you or makes a belittling comment it hurts. But I have beautiful people who remind me that I’m loved. No matter what that hater says. So don’t hate. Appreciate.

I must go. I appologize for the non-fact.

Love you!

Abby

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