Day 201

Well… this has been a long long long weekend. I was gone so I couldn’t have written anyway, but on thursday Gretchen and I stayed after youth group really late to talk, so I didn’t have time to write.

Well, this weekend was “CORE Reaction” with my youth group. And it was thought provoking to say the least. On the way there we got stuck in the mud. That was quite the adventure. Cried during the first session while we were singing a song. I was OK until then but the song starts “Put me back together, I fell apart” and it really hit me hard. I’m totally falling apart. I feel like my life has been bursting at the seams, and in all the worst ways.

The whole theme of the weekend was distractions. And my life is full of them. It could be easily summed up as Guys, Life, Stuff. My parents tell me that I need to take time to breathe. To stop and take a breath before I jump into the next thing. I hate to hear it, but I know it’s true. I can’t rush around so much. But gosh, it’s fun till it catches up to you.

Thinking about apathy. I’ve been feeling a lot of that recently. About school work, relationships, faith, life, and basically everything. I was listening to this great Jonny Diaz song and the words in the chorus hit me like a drum

This complacency is wearing on me
All my passions turn to apathy
I can get up and follow you and find my faith from before
Don’t know what I’m waiting for

I kinda feel my passions wasting away. And I’m not sure why, but I need to find a passion again. Because without passion there is no purpose. Wow… That’s fairly ¬†profound. If we don’t have passions in our lives, if we aren’t living passionately, or if we aren’t passionate about anything then are we truly living for a purpose?

I’m realizing that I have this terrible case of girlnextdoor-itis.

That ^ is a great explanation of it. Liking someone, thinking they like you back and then in the end they like someone else. But in my life it’s different. Because the girls those guys end up liking are girls I’m friends with, and unfortunately you can’t just say “I liked them first! I have dibs!” You have to be excited, and you have to care about their feelings. And it doesn’t end the way it does in the music video. And It happens a lot. You learn to get over things eventually. So that’s what I’ll do.

Random Fact of the Day- Gretchen’s favorite song is “the Devil went down to Georgia”

Mission of the Day- Sneeze.

I’ll finish this up later. I have to go.

Love you



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