Day 345

I’m twenty posts from the end… Funny, it has taken me two full years to write 365 posts.

A friend of mine posed a question to me today. I asked if they thought this blog was interesting and they said something along the lines of “don’t be confined by what other people think.” And naturally I said that I’m not (because We’re human aren’t we? We like to pretend that we are very independent.) And then he said “so if you wrote something and someone read it before you posted it and they said it was bad you wouldn’t change it?” And I said that I wouldn’t unless I thought they had a valid point. This has gotten me thinking a good bit.

I’ve tried to be honest with you from the start and be really real about not editing my thoughts. Because in real life I am really terrified of looking like an idiot. I think We’re all afraid of that on some level, but despite my outspoken nature I choose to not say what I’m thinking about 78% of the time. Do you know why? Because I don’t want my opinions to be wrong or stupid, I don’t want my stories to be lame or for my laugh to be obnoxious.¬† But this is my blog. Sure, I love it when people read my blog, comment and like my posts but more than anything, this was a practice in self control for me.

This is a place for me to work out my brain and to decide to stick to something. And I hope that its doing some good in someone’s life besides my own.

It’s so much easier to speak my mind when I can’t actually see your face. It’s like when you text someone all the time and then when you decide to actually spend time together you just don’t know how to talk. That’s my life right there.

I’m seventeen years old and I don’t feel any more prepared for the real world than I did when I was seven. I’m still clumsy, weird, nerdy, stupid at boys, awkward and just straight up special. You expect that the older you get the more sense it will make. You’d be wrong. Sometimes things feel like they make even less sense.

Random Fact of the Day- it is darkest around 2 am.

Mission of the Day- eat a slushie… They’re awesome.

Love you!

Abby

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