Can I be really honest right now? I didn’t think I would ever make it this far. Sure, blogging for 365 days sounds like a great idea, but it is hard work my friends. Hard. Work. (obviously, it took me two years to do it.)
Isn’t that crazy? Two years have gone by. That is so much time. So much change. So much learning. And get it has been a blur. One big, noisy, colorful, crazy, beautiful blur.
I don’t really know what to say in this post… This is so beyond weird to me. I guess I’ll talk about change.
I have changed a lot over the past two years. At the beginning of this I was a silly fifteen year old girl who thought too much, believed chemistry would kill her, was unsure of her purpose, was confused by boys, listened to too much music, got in trouble and spent way too much time thinking about a boy with pretty blue eyes who wasn’t worth her time* And now I’m a silly seventeen year old girl who thinks too much, calls herself the Dancing Queen, believes calculus might kill her, is unsure of her purpose in this world, is confused by boys, listens to too much music, gets in trouble and spends WAY too much time worrying about Charming boys who aren’t worth her time** So I guess, I really haven’t changed that much on the outside.
*Side note- I’d like to thank this boy with the blue eyes. He has been a great friend to me over the past four years and has made me think about life and morals a ton. Also, he’s taught me a lot about who I am and what I value. He’s always been there to answer questions about Guys, Life and Stuff, but even more than he answered questions he made me answer my own questions (jerk.) He has also supported me in this crazy endeavor. Obviously how blue eyes (pretty as they are) don’t make me swoon anymore, and when I say he wasn’t worth my time, I mean that my romantic emotional energy was misplaced (hind sight is 20:20) I’m so incredibly grateful for him and his friendship.*
**Second side note- when I say that this Charming boy isn’t worth my time, I mean that one.**
My hair is curly, I’m a little taller, my eyes are greener, my face is clearer, and my legs are longer but the person I say I am hasn’t changed much. But a lot of what drives me has changed. My faith is different, maybe not stronger by some standards, but more weathered and matured. My sense of purpose on this earth has gone from “I have no idea!” to “It is there, finding it is the question.” My knowledge of love is deeper; real, true, sacrificing love. My understanding of friendship and what it means to be a friend is stronger than ever.
I’ve read books that have changed my life, met people who have shaken my world, listened to music that has shaped my thoughts and thought harder than I ever have before.
I know that in two years I’ll look back on this as my nineteen year old self and say “seventeen year old Abby was such a pretentious child!” But why should that discourage me from thinking now?
The way I see it, I’m the oldest and wisest that I’ve ever been in my life at this very moment. And who knows, maybe I’ll get hit by a bus and never get any older or I’ll go off the deep end and never get any wiser. So, I’m going to create and explore and share my crazy thoughts until one of those two things happens, even if I am a pretentious child.
I’m not sure what comes after this. I’m not going to give up writing, It’s the most productive thing I do. But I have a pretty good idea for the next couple of months while I’m in this weird phase of my life.
I want to thank you, I don’t write this for the sake of people reading it, but the fact that so many people choose to read it anyway takes my breath away. I’m so thankful and so blessed. These past two years and 365 posts have been quite the adventure and I’m glad to have had you along for the ride. And my hope is that maybe my silly thoughts have helped you or made you think in some way, even if its learning from my mistakes or stupidity.
Random Fact of the Day- Ancient Egyptians first created the 365 day calendar which was made up of twelve months split into 30 days each with five extra days at the end of the year. The months were divided into three ten day weeks.
Mission of the Day- lick the ceiling. Any ceiling.
Love you soooooooooooooo much!