I’m going to be really depressing today, and you’re going to deal with it.
Four years ago today a boy I knew died.
We were in Mrs. Kline’s fifth grade class together and sat next to one another for the first couple weeks of school. It was my first day in a new school and I remember him asking to borrow my purple crayon and introducing himself as Ronald. I got to know him pretty well that year. I had a major crush on him for a large part of the year and he was pretty flirtatious for a fifth grade boy. He was charming with his blonde hair and blue eyes. He was a nice kid who I liked a lot.
Less than two years after I moved to where I live now, he died. He was my age, either thirteen or fourteen. I wish I could say that I know exactly how he died, but I’m afraid to say in case I botch the truth.
It scares me that we were so young and so close and that now he is gone. I’m not claiming to have some deep and personal relationship with him, but I do believe that every person we come in contact with changes us.
Life is ending so quickly. The whole planet is falling apart. People I know are dying, family members are getting sick, friends are getting cancer, family friends are losing their jobs. It just isn’t fair. This is not how we were created to live.
At CORE tonight, we talked about legacies. What will people say when you’re gone? And how are you striving to make your life something worth talking about? I never truly think about it, because I always have this sense that I have so much more time. I’ve got years and years to go to college, get a job, open a bakery, do a video blog, get into an art museum, get married, see the world, hike the grand canyon, have kids and then die. But It’s times like these where I am reminded of how quickly and surprisingly life ends.
I want to leave a legacy that is more than: she gave good hugs, she was nice, she was funny, she was smart. I want to be so much greater and so much more useful than all of that.
“I’m not saying that everything is survivable, just everything but the last one is.”