I promised my best friend Gretchen that I would write about making people cry, but at this point I don’t know if I can do it.
I’ve had a bit of a rough evening. One of those nights where you just know that you’re the problem. You just know.
Attempting to explain to someone why you are vaguely attracted to someone that they perceive to be weird and knowing they’re judging you. Here’s the thing. Emotions just don’t make sense. And, honestly, I’m not terribly afraid of these emotions. I’m not losing my mind because of them (yet) and I feel almost happy. The last time a boy made me giggle was today, the last time it happened before that? I can’t even remember.
I’ve been suffering under this sense of “not good enough.” Feeling like I’ll never measure up. My SAT scores will never be high enough, my body never thin enough, my grades never good enough, my teeth never white enough. It’s looming…
I’m waiting for SAT scores to be published, but I’m super tired.
Gretchen, I promise I’ll write that post for you.