316 to go…

I promised my best friend Gretchen that I would write about making people cry, but at this point I don’t know if I can do it.

I’ve had a bit of a rough evening. One of those nights where you just know that you’re the problem. You just know.

Attempting to explain to someone why you are vaguely attracted to someone that they perceive to be weird and knowing they’re judging you. Here’s the thing. Emotions just don’t make sense. And, honestly, I’m not terribly afraid of these emotions. I’m not losing my mind because of them (yet) and I feel almost happy. The last time a boy made me giggle was today, the last time it happened before that? I can’t even remember.

I’ve been suffering under this sense of “not good enough.” Feeling like I’ll never measure up. My SAT scores will never be high enough, my body never thin enough, my grades never good enough, my teeth never white enough. It’s looming…

I’m waiting for SAT scores to be published, but I’m super tired.

Good night.

Gretchen, I promise I’ll write that post for you.

Love you!



I'd love to hear your thoughts! Leave me a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s