I’m sooo tired, but I need to write today.
I’ve had an incredibly emotional day. The play ended yesterday and I’m just living in a state of shock now that It’s over. You have to understand, this drama team is my thing. Something that has been incredibly influencial in my life. A place where I’m home and a place where I’m safe. I’ve spent countless hours over the past four years with that group. The contents of the group has shifted through the years, but the meaning has not. But this last production has been something unique. For the first time, I’m not on the bottom of the food chain. In fact, I’m almost at the top. I’m a senior. And that’s a little crazy. But I’ve formed bonds with these people unlike anything I can describe. I can’t remember the last time I cared for a group of people this much (that’s a lie, but It’s been a long time.) I’ve been so touched by each and every person there.
Now, We’re at the end. I feel as though I’ve lost something. I’ve lost that time with those people, those opportunities to be with them, the anticipation of the dark behind stage, the ridiculous amounts of lip stick, the pizza, the “EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!!” moments. But more than that, I’ve lost the person that I got to be. Number five on the List of Things I Believe is “everything in our lives changes us” and number fourteen is “you are never the same person twice” and I believe that.
I’ve been so full of emotions that I can’t explain. Today I sat in my car and cried while listening to “Call Me Maybe…” I’m straight up losing it. I tried to explain to my parents why I was so upset and it mostly came out like this: “I just… I’m… Gah… *sob* I’M UPSET!!” I couldn’t even put words to it. And the problem is, I don’t even understand it myself. I think I need more sleep.
I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking but, unfortunately, none of it makes sense. Thoughts on this boy, thoughts on Doctor Who, thoughts on politics, thoughts on college *shudder* thoughts on parents, thoughts on being a senior and growing up. So many thoughts and so many feels…
Random Fact of the Day- emus cannot walk backwards.
Mission of the Day- Create a dance move called The Backward Emu. Show it to me ay some point.
Question of the Day- What’s on your mind recently?