I’ve got about forty minutes until my next class and so I’m going to write about this thing I believe. It’s a pretty weird thing, but it’s a pretty developed theory that I have that I want to be able to remember some time when I’m old.
I make a very strong effort to not pursue guys who are in relationships and that’s for a couple reasons. Many of those reasons have to do with the fact that I’m not interested in being dubbed a home-wrecker, but I have another very distinct reason for this.
I had a really goof guy friend during my junior year who was so sweet to me. He made me smile and made me feel really special and we would flirt all the time and I liked him. Like, really liked him. But he had a girlfriend. It got to a point where he would be flirting with me and I would almost forget that I wasn’t his girlfriend. It got increasingly hard for me to separate myself from him emotionally. And then, one day, after an exceptionally heartbreaking conversation, it occurred to me that he wasn’t the kind of guy I wanted to emotionally invest in.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy. He’s sweet and kind and an amazing guy in general. We are still good friends and I really enjoy his company, but I couldn’t justify being with him. (There really was no chance of us being together, but when you start to realize how much you like someone, you start to consider what it might be like to be with that person.)
How could he make me feel the way I did when he was with someone else? He made me feel special and like the only girl in the world. He wasn’t cheating on his girlfriend, but she was getting cheated of that attention. Maybe he had no interest in me, but if I was his girlfriend and he was making other girls feel the way he had made me feel, I would be upset. (I don’t know if that made any sense at all. I did my best.) I wouldn’t want the person who I had committed myself to, to be treating other girls the way he treated me.
Maybe that’s selfish. Maybe I’m just a terrible person. Maybe I’m needy. But I believe that relationships like that are important and unique. They deserve respect and a sense of reverence (I know that reverence is the wrong word here. I simply can’t think of what the right word would be. Any help? Also, why is wrong spelled with a “wr” and the opposite [right] isn’t spelled with it? Wouldn’t that make more sense? Write and Wrong? That could be an interesting title for a novel for teenagers.)
SO yea. That’s where my brain is at right now. Any thoughts? You might totally disagree with me, and if you do I would really like to hear why. I’m open to anything. Give me your thoughts!!
random side note- I was tagging this post and I realized that I’ve never tagged something “Emotional Investment” How is that even possible? That’s basically all I ever write about and it’s totally a phrase that I use all the time! What have I been doing???
Sorry for all of the random side notes. My brain is in a billion places at the same time. I’m going to go to class now.
Also, my Chem professor has this super thick Russian accent. It’s like something out of a movie.
OK. I’m done. I swear.