90 to go…

Life has been hard. It really has. I’ve made some mistakes and people have hurt my feelings and friends have been sick. It’s been difficult. But it is still good. I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m falling into friendships that are deeply meaningful and are very special. I’m keeping up with old friends.

“Whether or not I’ve got what I want, life keeps moving on.”

It’s incredible how much you can get to know someone in seven weeks, but the truth of the matter is that we aren’t just spending time together. We’re living together. We’re sharing life together. We’re learning together.

The funny thing about my friends here is that they don’t understand the way I keep up with my friends from home. I talk for hours on the phone with Meesh and Cindy and Penelope and so many more, and my friends can’t understand it. They want to know what we have to talk about for so long, and I never know what to tell them. The truth is that we just talk about life and catch up about what’s going on.

I have incredible friendships at home. Friendships that defy explanation. Friendships that defy reason. It’s because these people aren’t just my friends, they’re my life partners. The people who have been there through the good the bad and the ugly. I’m beyond thankful for them.

I’ve been learning a lot about worship. As a missionary kid and as a pastor’s kid it has always been expected that I would go to church every week and that there were certain organizations that I should be involved in. Not gonna lie, those expectations are kind of killing me. This pressure to continue to hold on to my parent’s religion. This is a time for me to find what faith means to me. And I am.

It’s fall here and the whole world is beautiful. The trees are orange and yellow and the air smells cleaner and the world seems brighter. I just sit in the grass sometimes and watch the cloud pass and am reminded that God just isn’t real, but he’s close. He’s all around. I’ve spent a lot of time listening to the song God’s Great Dance Floor. 

I feel alive
I come alive
I am alive
On God’s great dance floor.

You never stop loving us,
No matter how far we run
You never give up on us.

I feel alive. I do. I feel it in me. Life that is. I feel life.

I wrote half of a post and then couldn’t write any more. So I started in the middle. I think I got it.

Love you. I really do.

Abby

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