Why change who you are? 88 to go…

Some of my favorite posts that I’ve written have been the ones that are just about what I’ve done with my friends. Those are the ones I love to read. The ones that make me smile the most. So here we go.

Last night we were sitting around, bored and so my friend Lexie decided to look and see if there were any musicians playing in coffee shops around us. So we found one at a coffee shop about twenty minutes from where we were and we drove over there. It ended up being this beautiful little coffee shop that serves their hot chocolate in cat mugs and has delicious biscotti. The musician was a guy playing an acoustic guitar and a girl playing the violin and they harmonized really beautifully. I sat there with a bunch of my friends and listened to this musician and played Bull and drank hot chocolate and laughed. I felt in my element. I felt whole. It felt completely and totally right. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. It reminded me of all the time I spent in Starbucks or Folklore (my all time favorite coffee shop,) with good friends and warm drinks. Those deep conversations and hearty laughs.

After our lovely time at this coffee shop, we ran through a grave yard and just laughed and had a marvelous time. I attempted to explain my Healthy Rebellion theory to my friend Mike, to which he responded “you need to just not give a [crap] about what people think.”

Today, I talked to my beautiful best friend Meesh on the phone for almost three hours. I have been so blessed to have her as a best friend. There are no words for how grateful I am for her. We talked for a long time about how different College is from high school. It was basically a crime to wear sweat pants to school in high school, but in College it just matters so much less. Either that or I just care less.

The thing that’s great about College is that there is so little need to impress people. You get to start over, right? So you can just be you and find the people who like you for You. That is so freeing to know.

I think we start to lose ourselves as we try to impress one another. We become convinced that the little quirks that make us who we are aren’t good enough for other people. That they’re embarrassing. We become convinced that We are not good enough. That we have to somehow enhance ourselves so that we’re right. So we try to be things that we aren’t and we try to hide the things that we are. We lose the weird, exciting, funny, unique things that make us who we are so that we fit into some mold of how we think we should all act.

That makes me so sad. I know I’m quirky. I know I’m kind of weird and awkward and different. But I’m OK with that. I refuse to change to please the crowd. I know that I’m deeply loved. I know that I’m deeply loved by people who know the weirdest things about me and like me anyway. If that’s not freeing, I don’t know what is.

I also got to Skype with my dear friend AZ for a couple hours tonight and that was such a joy. She has been such an important part of my life for the last couple of years and I could not be more thankful for her.

Generally, life is good. Life is big and bright and absolutely beautiful. I can’t see it all the time, but I know that it is.

Love you!



2 thoughts on “Why change who you are? 88 to go…

  1. I know this may sound weird and have nothing to do with it all, but how do you find time for homework? Is there a lot of homework? I’m kind of terrified to go to college, but you’re making it sound fun.

    • College is a lot of work. I’m currently taking 20 credits this semester and it’s insane. I’m taking so many classes. The thing is, you have to balance your friends and your work for when it comes to your free time. A lot of the time that I spend with my friends is just us sitting on my floor and us all doing homework and complaining about it. It makes it way more fun and it can be easier to focus than just sitting by yourself. I also have random hours where it doesn’t make sense to walk all the way back to dorm side, so I’ll find a quiet place and sit and get some work done for an hour or two. You find the little places in your life where it fits and you get it done. I find it really helpful to work on homework a little bit at a time. I get really overwhelmed if I try to complete an entire assignment in one sitting, so I spread it out. The key is to start early instead of waiting until the last second (which is what I did for all of high school)

      I know that college is scary. I wouldn’t even say the “c-word” until I got my first acceptance, but it is such an incredible time to grow and learn. The key is balance 🙂

      If you have any other questions, let me know! I’d be happy to answer them!!

      Love you!!


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