Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!
If you happen to be single or have single friends, then I’m sure you’ve seen all sorts of things like this:
Now, I’ll admit that I’ve retweeted, reblogged, and shared plenty of these. I’ve been single for a long time and I’ve been bitter about being single for an almost-as-long time. Valentine’s day (apostrophe? I don’t know,) has always been a time to just bask in the misery of being alone while hating on every one who has ever been in a happy relationship in their life.
But I don’t feel bitter this year. Not even a little bit. I feel happy. I feel fulfilled. I feel content.
It’s not because I’ve met some perfect guy who completes me in every way, (although Purdy is truly the world’s best boyfriend.)
No, I’m not bitter this year because I’ve chosen to not be bitter. I think this started when I realized that I wasn’t bitter about being single. I remember being so bitter and angry about my perpetual singleness during high school. I spent so much time trying to seem confident so that people wouldn’t catch on to how much it hurt to be constantly single. And sometimes it does still hurt.
I think it’s normal for it to hurt. We as people desire closeness and intimacy and relationships. We want people close to us and we want people to understand us. We want people to hug and laugh with and to know deeply.
Days like Valentine’s day sometimes seem to make that pain so much worse. You look at the happy people around you and the love and relationships that people share and it’s a sharp reminder of the ever present pain of singleness. And if you’re anything like me, that pain often turns into bitterness toward those people. We resent them for being happier than us and for somehow being less screwed up than we are and for publicizing it.
“And that’s when I realized, making fun of Caroline Kraft wouldn’t stop her from beating me in this contest.” –Mean Girls
Growing up, my dad always told me that bitterness was like drinking poison and hoping it would kill the other person. I never really understood what he meant until I started becoming bitter about little things throughout my life and now I know that he was right. Hating couples on Valentine’s day isn’t going to make them less happy, it’s just going to make you more bitter and hateful. And bitterness is a poison-a poison that sucks you dry of joy and light-hearted-ness and optimism.
Now, I get it. My friends and I had the world’s best Anti-Valentine’s day party last year and just spent our time being single girls together and laughing. There was nothing bitter about it, it was just about us. Don’t be afraid to share some good single fun with a group of your friends.
On this quest to become a healthier person, I’m going to try my hardest to eliminate bitterness from my life. I don’t want to hold on to bitterness about anything or toward anyone. So I’m just not going to. I woke up one day realizing that Valentine’s day was no longer a source of bitterness in my life and realized how free I felt because of it and I want to feel that free and joyful in every aspect of my life.
If you want to hold on to your V-day bitterness, that’s your prerogative but I won’t be taking part.
Mission of the Day- Try to see the good things in Valentine’s day. Tell a friend or family member that you love them.
Random Fact of the Day- Around 15 percent of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day.
Love you always!!