I turned 19 yesterday… That’s a feeling I’m still trying to grapple with. I don’t feel any different and I think that’s pretty normal. But it occurred to me that I’ll be turning twenty in one year. That’s the kind of stuff that freaks me out. I’m not ready to not be a teenager any more.
But enough of that scary growing up stuff. Let’s talk about this year.
This year has been so wonderful but also so difficult for me. It was full of incredible friends and experiences but also some hard times and pain.
I graduated high school, I went to senior prom, I bought a car, I brought an idea I had alive on stage, my choir won a singing competition, I went to Haiti, I chose a college, I found my passion, I made new friends, I lost myself in life’s little moments, I found myself in a song, I reached 10 thousand views on my blog, I sang the national anthem in front of 20,000 people, I passed Music Theory, I passed Calculus 2, I went to church by myself for the first time, I laughed, I grew, I learned, and I lived.
I want every year of my life to be the best year of my life and I know that while this wasn’t an easy year for me it was the best year of my life thus far.
I had a really hard time last semester, just trying to sort through who I was and what was important to me and even though I wouldn’t want to live through that again, I know that I am better because of it. I know who I am better than I have previously and I’m so ready to jump into this year head first.
It seems that every song written about being 19 are all about being young and reckless and carefree and about doing new things.
Sometimes I feel so alive
Sometimes I see so clear
Just like the way we always were
So young and free from fear
I want this to be my year. To be young and free of fear. But I also want to continue to learn and grow as a person. I want to be deeply rooted in Peace and want to flower with Joy. (All I want from life is to be a tree. No one understands.) I want to grow in Faith and in Grace. I want to be
Being free, being wild, being bulletproof
Back then we were rebels without a clue
Nothing in the world that we wouldn’t do
So here’s to being 19 and crazy,