My conflicted Summer. 48 to go…

So I’m home for the summer. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more conflicted about summer in my life.  In high school I was always dying for summer by the end of the school year. I was ready to be out of school and to sleep in and to be free. This summer doesn’t feel like that. Yes, it’s great to be home and to see my family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and all the other people I’ve missed so much this year, but it’s different.

I miss my friends at school more than I know how to say. I feel their absence in my bones. Getting involved with Cru this semester gave me the opportunity to get to know so many incredible people and to make so many friends who I love. A couple of times this semester we went out and had a campfire on a beach close to our school and one night as we were sitting there around the fire I just had to look at my friends and I was filled with joy. I didn’t know it was possible to fall in love with so many people in such a short period of time.

“I hate distance. You meet the best people and they are always far away.”
My best friend David posted this on Tumblr (go check out his Tumblr, it’s artsy and fabulous,) and tagged me and my other best friend Katie (check out her Tumblr as well, it’s so pretty that it gives me Tumblr envy) in it and I actually cried. David and Katie have quickly become two of my best friends and school. They encourage me, teach me, make me laugh, and make me a better person. It is absolutely ridiculous how much I miss them. I miss late nights, long talks, and all of the laughter with them.


David, Me, Katie. Katie took this picture of us at the lilac festival this spring and I love it so much, it just makes me so happy (just like them.)

The other people I miss so much are Grace, Kelly, and Mike. I met these losers in Honors Orientation Group 6 so they’ve literally been with me since day 1 of college. They’ve been there to listen to me complain about any and everything, they’ve eaten way too much Common’s pizza with me, they’ve put up with my irrationality, and they’ve helped make me the person I am. I love them all so much and it has been so incredibly difficult to go from seeing them every single day to not seeing them at all. We’re all going to be living in a house together next year and there are no words for the excitement I feel about that.

2014-05-28 11.43.04

We’re in the most hilarious group text and this will forever be my favorite comment. There’s no context to give, it stands on its own. Egg plant tube sock potato salad.


Kelly, Grace, Mike, Me. We took this picture on the day we signed the lease to live in our house next year. I can’t wait to share every minute with these people who I love more than words.

One of the worst things about going from college life back to home life is being alone. I don’t know if I’ve spent this much time alone since winter break. I’ve gone from having a roommate and hundreds of other people living in my building to living with my five  family members who are at school or work most of the day. College is great because all of your friends live so close. You can walk down the hall, up a floor, or to the next building and be surrounded by your friends. I have to drive at least 5 minutes to see any of my friends here and there are days when I wake up after my family leaves and come home from work after they’ve gone to sleep. This has made me feel really lonely while I’m home.

This summer is also really difficult because I’m living with my parents again. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are the coolest, most understanding, and reasonable people I know; but things are different now. I’ve been living on my own for almost a year now. I’ve been waking up, going to bed, coming home, and staying out whenever I want. I’ve been doing what I want when I want to and I just can’t live like that at home. I live with 5 other people with various work and school responsibilities and my college lifestyle of coming home at 4am and waking up at noon just isn’t going to cut it all summer. It’s so hard to remember that I can’t just leave the house whenever. Remembering to tell my parents where I’m going and when I’ll be back is a serious chore for me.

As hard as this summer might be, I think it’s going to be really good. It’s been so good to be home and see my friends here who I have missed so much. It’s good to be working again and to be back in a rhythm of doing things regularly. It’s been nice to sleep in and cook for myself. I want this to be a productive summer of reading books, doing the things I need to, exercising, earning money, and resting.

Yes, it’s hard to be away from so many people that I love so dearly, but I’m so glad to be home with so many other people who I love.

Love you so much!



One thought on “My conflicted Summer. 48 to go…

  1. Moving back in with my parents after College was so hard to adjust to! I love them but I really struggled with losing my freedom so I had to move out a few months later. I hope it will workout for you!

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