What a human life is worth. 192 to go…

A human life is worth what someone will pay for it.

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow.

Those are words that have been deeply important to me over the past couple of years. If you’ve been around long enough then you will remember the days of singing at Country Meadows with the Alzheimer’s patients and my favorite seniors and we used to sing this. But those words ring more true now.

If Jesus truly paid it all, then our lives are worth the price that he paid: the life of the son of God. That is what your life is worth.

Happy Easter!



Day 349

This is morbid, but I have death on my mind.

As I was driving to Meesh’s house today I watched an ambulance turn into the parking lot of Country Meadows, the retirement home I used to sing at on Tuesday nights. I haven’t been in there in months, but it suddenly occurred to me that if I were to go back in there it is quote possible that some of the people I loved most wouldn’t be there any more.

So I sat in my car at the stop sign and just cried. Because, in the end, that’s all you can do about death. There’s no stopping it, there’s no preventing it, there’s no protection from it and there’s no way control it. Death is a reality of life that we must all come to terms with. A great quote by John Green goes “I’m not saying that everything in life is survivable, just everything but the last one.”

I often feel like I’m living in my glory days. Days of driving with the windows down, dancing in the rain, reading great poetry, laughing with my family, crying with my friends, sitting at Starbucks for hours, listening to good music, playing funny games and just loving life. I feel like it’s an era, It’s the golden age. I can see only as far ahead as the next last minute plan. What I can’t wrap my mind around is the fact that there is (potentially and hopefully) so much more to come. It might be beautiful, and it might be horrible but the reality is that there is at least a little bit more of it from this exact second.

I’m really into Doctor Who (nerd quirks… It’s how I roll) and one of my favorite quotes is: “People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.” I love this quote for a couple of reasons. 1. It’s brilliant. 2. It’s hilarious. 3. It’s true.

We’re all living in the same seconds, minutes and hours. But we are all living separate moments. We are all experiencing different thoughts, actions, and emotions. Our time is the same, our moments are different. We each live out our own separate infinities. Because my infinity exists only as long as I do and yours as long as you do. So at any given moment there are billions of infinities existing, being created and ending all at the same time. You have to read The Fault in Our Stars to really understand what I mean by infinities.

Random Fact of the Day- The longest baseball game ever was 36 innings and took eight hours and 25 minutes.

Mission of the Day- Do one of those sitting yoga poses on top of something weird and say “Ohmmmm…”

Love you!


Day 165

Well I’ve spent a good amount of time telling you about all the wonderful things I’ve been doing. And although that’s interesting I’m sure, my thoughts are what need to be discussed.

You know how sometimes you just know things are going to be ok? I’ve been so stressed, and so concerned about life, and so caught up in little things, and so sick, and so bitter. And I’ve kinda been dwelling in that, because sometimes you just need to feel that and be ok with it. But I’ve been trying to step back in my life. I can’t control everything, I can’t handle all of life’s problems, I can’t take on all my drama. It’s just not my place. So I’m stepping back. Because we live in a world of circles. We put things in boxes: I live in this house, which is in this city, in this state, in this country, on this earth, in this galaxy, and so on. Above all of those circles, even above the biggest one we can imagine, is God.

Thinking about drama. I was reading my old facebook posts. And I mean OLD. Like, 8th grade old. And man, I must have thought my life was the hardest thing. In someways it was. My life at that point was the hardest thing I had faced to that point in my life. (slightly repetitive, but you know what I mean) I would say stupid things like “I’m not sure who I’m supposed to be. I’m just hiding behind this mask that is me” (wow… what a freaking drama queen) It was true. I was a faker, I had no real substance. I was a hurting middle school girl. If you don’t know about my 7th/8th grade years then ask me sometime. It’s quite a story. A sad one, but it puts me in a good bit of perspective.

Let’s just say I wasn’t taking care of myself the way I should have been. So instead of taking that deep hurt, and those deep issues, and dark secrets to God, I “handled” them myself. I look back and realize that I would be in such a different place right now if I had known that my life would work out in the end. I was convinced that moving to where I live now would be the worst thing ever. And I took that out on a lot of people. But I think that the ways in which I had to suffer really have helped me be a light to others. I wouldn’t want to go through them again. But I don’t regret where I am right now.

Sorry. That was a lot of random thoughts, that all connect in my mind.

I got to see my fabulous “older” friends at Country Meadows tonight. Mike, Alex, Erin, Meesh and I went to sing for them after not being there in months. It was truly beautiful, and I was so touched that they remembered us (keep in mind, they’re 89 and have Alzheimers.)

Random Fact of the Day- Almonds contain small amounts of Arsenic. But you have to eat a crazy amount to feel the affects.

Mission of the Day- Lie down on a couch dramatically, throw your hand over you face, sigh and exclaim: What ever SHALL I do?!? (all in an english accent, quite over the top)

Love you!


Day 92

So yes, I understand. I was a freshman last year too… but come on! I believe i was pretty awesome (or at least that’s what my friends and I thought) but I am constantly driven insane by a select few freshman who like to talk a little too much… AHHH!

We had Friendzee tonight. Always fun. The Asian baby didn’t cry!!! SUCCESS!! There were only 2 kids so I was able to get my Chem and math homework done… double success. Talked with Forrest about pressure points, talked to Meesh about being lazy (which I am NOT) and got hit with a snow ball by nate… Yes. My life is oh, so interesting!

I don’t remember giving you guys the full story about country meadows yesterday… hmmm… So I was talking to Jean, crazy Jean. And Catherine, Loony Catherine, grabs this guy Ed’s hand and they start basically making out…. ummm… awkward. And then the nurse comes over and says “No Ed, your wife wouldn’t want you to do that!” It was REALLY awkward… and then afterward we went out side and played in the snow and thanks to Tyler I now have a bruised arm from getting hit so hard with a snowball! UH! and then he hit me really hard in the face with a snow ball… It was very mean.

And now my back hurts like… oh I don’t know. Like pain. My right side hurts and my left shoulder hurts so I am horribly imbalanced.

Random Fact of the Day- Today is National Popcorn Day

Mission of the Day- Make popcorn from scratch. And then get it wet (or lick it) and stick it to your face like a beard! So much fun… not that I would know or anything…

Love you!


Day 91

If you haven’t heard the new Chris Tomin CD then you NEED to! Its amazing! i love it.

I’m really tired so I can’t really write much. I had a snow day today! YES!

I went to Country Meadows today and had a huge snow ball fight with Tyler, Mike, and Meesh. But mostly Tyler. Secretly we are friends, but you wouldn’t know it.

Random Fact of the Day- There are enough peanuts in one acre to make 30,000 peanut butter sandwiches.

Mission of the Day- Eat Peanut butter using your face!

Love you!


Day 80

I love tuesdays! Their the bestest of the best! I was really sad today though… We wrote cards for all the people in the Alzheimer’s unit at Country Meadows, and when the girls went to deliver them they found out that one of the ladies had died. Not a woman we knew, but its still really sad because it could have been one of them. And it was just eye opening to remember that people die.

This is a hard Christmas. This is my second Christmas with out my Grandma, and it is really really sad. Of all the people in the world that I knew she was the most loving, humble and caring. She had nothing, but gave everything. I love when my parents tell me that I am like her, because I can honestly not think of anyone else in the world I would rather be like.

I stayed up and watched the eclipse last night and it was absolutely fantastic! I didn’t see the whole thing but it was really beautiful and it reminded me that the whole universe is perfectly aligned the way God wants it and He will align my life and the paths in my life, just the way He knows is best.

Random Fact of the Day- In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees

Mission of the Day- Give someone sad a BIG hug!

Love you!


Day 77

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me… 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree!

Yep… 11 days till Christmas! How great? I love, love, love, LOVE it!

How is your world today? Mine is pretty fantastic! I love my life, my friends, my family. Life is good.

You know as I think more and more about it I really shouldn’t worry that much about… GUYS LIFE STUFF. And yet we sit around all day worrying about those types of things. So many of my friends right now are worried about, just that. UH! rediculous!

We sang for the old people today! So fun. After ward I was talking to the lady who I usually talk to, and I saw one lady sitting all alone. I didn’t really think much of it but I thought that it would be nice if I went and talked to her. When I asked her how she was she began to cry and said she was doing really bad. And I just sat there and held her hand, and she cried. And it was really sad, but I think it was really good. Because it was uncomfortable for me to walk over to this lady, Margarite, who I didn’t know and ask her how she was. But it was me conisdering someone who wasn’t me. And it really paid off.

Random Fact of the Day- The 12 days of Christmas are actually the 12 days after Christmas… Whatever

Mission of the Day- sing that WHOLE song. 🙂

Love you!