Amy Pond. 318 to go…

I wanted to write something incredibly interesting and wonderful and inspiring today, but I just spent the past hour crying over Doctor Who.

It was beautiful, Future Amy talking about how much she loved Rory, and how it was his quirks that made him charming. I just sobbed. What can I say? I love Amy and Rory and I’m a sucker for a love story.

I find that It’s easier to be in love with someone else’s love life (whether they’re real, or a fictional character) than your own life. I’m the kind of girl who could get lost in books for days. I put my heart into movies and shows and books, because for those forty minutes, I am Amy Pond. Or for those 256 pages, I am Alaska Young. Me and my silly dramas are gone, my pathetic excuse for a one sided love life, (love life, what’s that?) my insecurities, my problems all melt away. It’s so much easier to live a life that’s not your own.

Question of the Day- What confuses you about girls?

Love you!

Abby

Day 285

Well I’ve got more to write about tonight.

What is the difference between a hope and a wish? I’m a strong believer in wishes. 11:11, dandy lions, first stars, eyelashes, and three sneezes. I make a wish anytime I can. But here’s what makes wishes special, they give us a chance to say things we want that we realize might be ridiculous. Sometimes our wishes are our hopes, but often our hopes are more realistic than our wishes. Hopes have some basis in reality. We base our hopes on this that could happen. Our hopes are the things we want the most. And then there are our wishes. Our wishes can be as big as the sun and as undefined as a faerie. Our wishes are crazy, and there is a reason why we don’t people what they are. We talk about our hopes, but not our wishes, because we fear looking ridiculous.

John Green once said that a person’s favorite quotes say more about a person than about the things that are being quoted. I have a book of quotes (mostly from John Green books) and th quotes really do say a lot about me. About my sense of humor, what I think is attractive, what I want to be, what I think is interesting, what makes me think. But that quote book tells you very little about the book itself. All the quotes from Looking For Alaska demonstrate what kind of girl I desire to be, and less what kind of girl Alaska is. Because I could read it, you could read it, and if we both wrote down our favorite quotes there might be some overlap, but the book would appear to be completely different from both views.

I believe that music is the same way. The artists and songs I listen to are very different from whet other people may listen to. There might be overlap, but the array and varied-ness of my selection says something about what I value. That I think about love, that I think about the deeper meaning of life, that I like funny songs, or music with a good beat. One song by The Spring Standard may not tell you much about their music, but combine that with He is We, Kyler England and Butterfly Boucher and you’ve got a good definition of what kind of girl I am.

Random fact of the day- while the rest of the United States takes their AP Language tests at 8-9 am, Alaska begins from 7-8’am… Not sure why.

Mission of the day- listen to the song Seize the Day from Newsies and do a little dance.

Love you!

Abby

Day 275

Teachers can make you do a lot of things, but they just can’t make you care.

Today during my AP Language class we took a survey about education and how effective it is my high school. And so many of my answers came back to a single point, if it’s not relevant to me I just don’t care. I’m not saying that it’s right, but isn’t that how we function as human beings? We don’t feel the need to put effort into things that we feel have no relevancy to us. So, sometimes I really have a hard time forcing myself to do my english work because it just feels unimportant and unnecessary.

“Forever is a long time…” Yes, and that sounds ridiculously obvious, but it’s true. It’s not something I like to think about because it’s a mind blower, but it’s true. Forever is… forever. There’s no way to wrap your mind around forever. Forever doesn’t end. It just reminds us of how physically temporary we are.

Happiness, everyone’s looking for it and I’ve realized that it’s not something you find but it’s something that you create, something that builds. It’s less of a meteor that hits the earth, and more of a slow deposition of sediments on rocks.

There are 37 days until summer, I can hardly wait. I’m very excited to be done with school. Today was the first day where I could taste summer in the air. Ahhhh… 🙂

Random Fact of the Day- The idea of wedding rings goes all the way back to the caveman age when ancient men would tie braided grass around his mate’s wrists, ankles and waist to bring her spirit under his control.

Mission of the Day- Contemplate your thumbs. What would you do without them?

Love you!

Abby

Day 250

Oh my… I’ve had quite a bit on my mind in past couple of days.

First, this seems trivial but I’ve had pretty simple thing on my mind. Girls who post photos of themselves on Facebook with captions like “you’ll never know what you’re missing” or “without you I’m having the time of my life.” and all it makes me want to do is laugh. Remind me to never ever do that. It’s so self centered and attention seeking and it drives me nuts. Honey, if your so much happier without him then why do you feel the need to make sure he knows it?

I’ve been thinking about tons of other things. But as I go to write them down I just can’t remember. OH! “Kinda wish I had the courage a bit of bravery, so tired of waiting on a man to come and save me.” And here is where my brain starts churning. As I’m driving down the road and singing those words I just realize how true I want them to be. I do get tired of waiting. Sometimes I feel like I do need to be saved, and sometimes I don’t think I can do it on my own. I know what the right answer is, sometimes the right answer isn’t what you want to hear.

Thats something else I’ve been thinking about. Sometimes we don’t want life to be OK. It’s easier to have an issue. It gives you something to learn from, something to feel in your heart. Something to occupy your mind and make you feel normal and relevant.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game. You’ve heard lots of boys say it. But I’ve realized something. It’s crap. Yea, you should hate the game, but you should hate the player for playing the ever-so detested game. Conclusion made.

Random fact of the day- An American dollar bill is .0043 inches thick. Where as a normal piece of paper is .0038 inches thick.

Mission of the Day- make a yoga pose that would be called “The Whale”

Love you!

Abby

Day 249

Ok, so I’ve been thinking a lot lately. (you know, the usual) I came upon an interesting realization yesterday. Any heartbreak that you have in your life is at least partly your fault. Let me explain.

For someone to break your heart they must first have a piece of your heart. You can’t break something that you don’t have a hold of. As I laid in bed thinking I came up with this statement (which I would like to think is pretty profound) “for someone to break your heart you have to have given them the right to have your heart and know your heart” So,in giving anyone your heart you are allowing yourself to be set up for heartbreak. I think that that is perfectsly OK. If we never put ourselves in a position where our hearts are on the line the we never learn to love. We never take the chance to be real people.

“We all have a story to tell, whether we whisper or yell. We all have a story of adolescence and all its glory.” Because I kinda love He is We. And the words really stuck out to me. We all have a story. We like to think of people as flat things, as ideas, as characters in the story that I’d written in first person from our point of view. But the world is more like a novel written by an omniscient narrator who sees all of the thoughts of all people and the unique stories of each of them. The second we start looking at people in that manner you start to become more humble. That is the second when we realize that we are not the center of the universe. But that is a scary place to live. It’s easy to think that the world revolves around us, but the second we start considering other people we have to start caring. And caring is painful, it’s necessary, but painful. If we don’t care about anything then we have no purpose, but when you care you set yourself up to have your heart broken.

Oh my, I’m exhausted. I need a little sleep. Today I had a pretty terrible coughing attack. Bleh.

Random fact of the Day- Angry and Hungry are the only English words that end in “gry”

Mission of the Day- consider what you care about.

Love you!

Abby

Day 184

Tuesday. How do I feel about today? I’m really not sure. I did very little of significance today. I really haven’t been thinking today. Well I kind of have, but I’m not sure about what, or how to explain it to you.

Thinking about moving on with life. It’s easier when you remember what you’re worth. I’m different from most girls in a lot of ways, but I’m very much like other girls in other ways. I’m not always confident in my self. I’m not always convinced that I’m good enough at things. As He as We says “Stop bringing myself down, I gotta know what makes me great” I’m not recommending being full of yourself. But knowing that you’re worth something. That’s what I’m working at.

I’m not really sure what else to tell you. I said it once and I’ll say it again I’m taking my life back.

Have I told you this before? I kinda am really emotional. And (I know I told you this) what I feel I feel to the extreme. And I get carried away with what I’m feeling. I let my emotions rule me. I let them get in the way of being… normal. I let them screw up relationships, weird-a-fi situations, and generally make life complicated. I’m done with that. I’m done with letting my emotions rule me. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. The end.

Random Fact of the Day- Mars is the only planet that we can see the surface details of.

Mission of the Day- Stand on a piece of furniture and make say something heroic.

Love you!

Abby

Sorry for the lack of substance today.

Day 179

Today the main thing I learned was about being wrong. I love to argue. But more than arguing I love to be right. But one thing I have learned from my friends and my family is that the best arguers know how to admit their wrong-ness. It makes them respectable, and it makes them a worthy opponent.

The other thing I’ve learned today is about friendship. I’m one to speak far faster than I think. I’m full of opinions and I  speak them quickly. And many times in my life I have said things before thinking and have really hurt friends and ruined relationships. It’s something I’ve been working on for years, but it’s something I don’t do as well as I should. I’ve realized that up until this point in my life I never really had good friends. I had friends that were fun, but it was all skin deep. I would get in an argument with them and then we would just stop talking. But, moving here really changed that for me. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but the more I look back on it I see what a blessing it was.

God has provided me with the most amazing friends who have stuck with me through so much. I’m not a very easy person to deal with. I get melodramatic, I get depressed, I get defensive, I get aggressive, I pick fights, I step on toes. But for the first time in my life I have relationships worth fighting for. Relationships, whether with friends or boys or parents, don’t work out perfectly. Even people who seem so similar to you and seem like you were born to be friends, you will have disagreements. And some relationships fall apart after arguments or fall outs. The best relationships are the ones where people are willing to be honest about what’s going on in their lives. People who are willing to speak truth into one another’s lives. Friendship where honesty and forgiveness is abounding. I’ve learned to be more humble. I’m not always humble, but I’m learning to admit when I’m wrong. Learning to be more careful with what I say, learning to hold those who I love close to me. God has given me such amazing people in my life.

Honesty. I think it’s so important. But it’s often so hard to appreciate, because it often comes at times when you least want to hear it. I’m blessed to have people in my life who aren’t afraid to speak truth to me. That doesn’t mean I’m always going to listen to them, or that I’m going to like it. But in the end I can always look and say that I’m thankful for that truth, whether it was welcome at the time or not.

Thinking about “things” or the stuff that makes us up. Our experiences, our struggles, our heartaches, our background. We each have a story. As He is We put so wonderfully- “We all have a story to tell, whether we whisper or yell. We all have a story of adolescence and all its glory. We all have a story to tell” It’s true. Sometimes you just have to listen hard enough.

Random Fact of the Day- Seatophobia- the irrational fear of chairs.

Mission of the Day- Tell a good friend how much they really mean to you and how thankful you are for them.

Love you dearly 🙂

ABby