I am so freaking tired and the only thing I did today was sleep.
Senior Prom was last night. The whole day was crazy. We went to school and got our caps and gowns and then we took a class picture. Then Nicole and I went to buy fake flowers to make corsages and got bagels at Panera. I got my hair done and then went to Nicole’s to get ready and then we went and took pictures. It was a nutty day, but I loved it. And prom would have been perfect except for two things.
1. The dance floor was absolutely tiny. Homeschool prom’s dance floor was twice as big and there was a fifth of the number of people there.
2. The DJ straight up sucked. All he played was ghetto booty music that was perfect for grinding but terrible for Dancing. And if you’re into grinding then good for you, but I’m not about that kind of thing.
There were a couple of really great moments where I just loved it, but I’m sad that those two things had such an impact on the whole experience.
I’m trying to really focus on all of the things I liked about prom, all of the fun things that we did, because I want to remember it as positively as I can.
The one thing I walked away from prom feeling was lonely. It seems like even the nerdiest and most awkward people all had dates and still no one asked me. It’s hard to watch everyone slow Dancing and just know that all you can do is stand there or try and hide in the bathroom for the next 4 minutes. I want to pretend that it just didn’t affect me all that much, but honestly, it made me really sad. And I know that there is so much more to life than having some silly high school boy to slow dance with, but it gets so easy to feel lovely and unlovable. It’s something that I need to be working through in my life and in my head. Gosh, it hurts…
Maybe I’m just emotional because I’m tired or because it feels like everything is ending but it physically hurts right now how lonely I feel. Isn’t that silly? To be so distraught over what matters so little? But here I am.
I guess that I did have a lot of fun at prom and I’m so glad that I went. I love my friends so dearly and I can’t believe how close we are to graduating…