Homeschool Prom. 163 to go…

I really need to go to bed, I also really need to write about homeschool prom.

Last night was homeschool prom. I’m not homeschooled, but many of my friends are so I went with them. I got ready with Sharon, Bethany and Tabitha and listened go Taylor Swift and One Direction while painting our nails, doing our hair and makeup and hanging out. It felt so girly and ridiculous, but I loved every moment of it.

Then Tabitha and I met up with Gretchen and Forrest and took pictures at a playground before going over to this hotel to take pictures with Penelope, Josh, Meesh and Erika. We took pictures, laughed and just had a beautiful time.

We drove to the place where prom was being held and we ate and we read fortune cookies and I explained to all of my innocent homeschooled friends how to make fortune cookies funny. I felt like the bad public schooler corrupting all of my friends (if you don’t know what I’m talking about then I would look it up,) we took some more pictures and then danced. I felt wild, uninhibited, crazy and beautiful all at once and I loved it. Forrest was in charge of choosing the music for the evening and because he is the absolute best ever he played The Dancing Queen for me. I danced and sang and celebrated existing. It was so beautiful and I just loved it.

We all drove to my friend Rachel’s house for the after prom party and all of the seniors released lanterns. I have always wanted to do that and I finally got to. Penelope and I shared a lantern and it was so cool to watch it float off into the sky. We came inside and talked and played Never Have I Ever and Truth Or Truer (a game I invented,) and had fun. Meesh and I looked through our pictures together and laughed and had a marvelous time.

I really need to go to bed. I’m working at 6 tomorrow morning… Kill me now. On the plus side, there’s a cute new guy at work who is nice, attractive and my age. Score!

Love you!!



Eighteen feels weird. 214 to go…

Can I be really honest? Eighteen feels really funny. I had to change my ring tone and my alarm clock and my Facebook album and it just feels quite weird. I was in a conversation with a friend and they said “You just need to dance!” To which I responded “Of course! I’m than Dancing Que- … Aww… *sob”. It made me really sad. I feel as though I’ve lost a piece of my identity.

However, eighteen has been really fun. I had an amazing time last night. I took my friend Colton as my date to winter formal (let me be very clear in saying that we’re friends,) and we had a splendid time. We danced and sang and had milkshakes and just had a great time. At one point Colton and I were Dancing to I Won’t Give Up when I started to sing loudly to Meesh to be obnoxious. We then both stopped Dancing with our dates and started Dancing together and Meesh says to me “I’ll never give up on us.” I nearly cried. I haven’t had many meaningful friendships in my life before I moved here, but my friendship with Meesh is so deeply important to me.

There are some relationships that are just worth fighting for, and I’m glad to have found a friendship that is worth every bit of the effort it takes. I have many meaningful friendships, but none of them have required as much work (on both sides,) as my relationship with my amazing, beautiful best friend Meesh.

Goodness… I’m making myself cry… Why does growing up have to be so hard?

Love you!


As the Year of The Dancing Queen ends. 215 to go…

So, only 30 minutes until I am a legal adult. I don’t even know…

This year has easily been the best year of my life. I have loved being the Dancing Queen. I have made amazing friends and done amazing things.

I drove my white mini-van, I went to a paint party, I went to Challenge, I was a middle school leader, I passed physics, I learned to drive stick, I went to homeschool prom, I went laser tagging in my homecoming dress, I went to my first high school football game, I was in a play, I went to Florida, I saw The Sister Act, I got into college, I had midnight jam sessions, I went on my last CORE retreat, I became a newspaper editor, I stayed up late, I laughed, I spent time with my friends and my family, I started writing and directing my own play, I went swing Dancing, I got a job, I took my SATs for the last time, I asked a boy on a date, I put myself out there, and mostly, I lived.

I’ve loved so much of this year and the friends I have been able to share it with. I’ve been deeply blessed and incredibly touched.

My friend Gretchen once told me “You’ll always be the Dancing Queen,” and I hope she’s right. I don’t want to be seventeen forever, but I want to be the Dancing Queen forever. Seventeen is safe and fun, but there is so much that I hope to do beyond seventeen.

So, as I say to Gretchen: may we always be Dancing Queens.

Thank you for being with me through this amazing year. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been the best year of my whole life. And I’m so glad to share it with you.

Love you always 🙂


Scholarship. 216 to go…

So, I told you that I got into college. Well, today I found out that I got accepted into the honors program at this one school as well as getting a presidents scholarship, which will cover 60% of tuition. I can’t even words about how happy I am. I’m overwhelmed and so thankful.

I’m tired.

My birthday party is tomorrow. I’m pumped.

Love you!


Half way. 234 to go…

Today started the third marking period. I am officially halfway done with my senior year. Seriously? This is crazy.

As every moment passes I am reminded that nothing like it will come again. Time is flying past me and it feels like there is nothing that I can do about it. But I’m anticipating the future and getting more and more excited about the big steps that are to follow. I’m in for a lot of changes in the next couple of months, and I think I’m ready. I’m ready to embrace what I can no longer avoid.

Today in my English class (which my teacher refers to as AP Life,) we talked about regrets. When you talk to people who are older most of their regrets come from things they chose not to do instead of what they did. They regret that they didn’t take more chances and that they didn’t put themselves out there more. I don’t want to look back on my high school career and regret that I didn’t do things. So, we had to write on a piece of paper today, “what’s the worst that could happen?” And unless what you wrote on the other side of the paper was “murder” then the answer is “rejection.”

Now don’t get me wrong, rejection sucks, but there is so much good in life that you will miss without the chance of rejection. Asking that girl to the Formal (which you should just do,) or trying out for the musical, or Dancing in a talent show, or telling the truth, or learning a new instrument. What’s the worst that could happen? Rejection and failure. Both of those are unfun and make you feel pretty rotten, but let me tell you a couple of things.

I have tried out for three musicals and haven’t made a single one. I have told several boys that I really liked them only to hear that they liked my best friend. I’ve made an absolute fool of myself by putting myself out there, but I regret none of that. I wish that it had turned out differently, but I do not regret it. I had the guts to tell this BlueEyed boy that I liked him and he told me that he would never like me and it hurt. It hurt a lot, but our friendship is stronger because we were able to live through that. I decided to write this stupid blog that caused nothing but drama for a long time, but now it is one of the best things I do. I don’t regret the times that I’ve taken a chance and seemed dumb, because they were proof to me that I have what it takes to do it.

So just do it. If it scares you and it seems risky for your pride then attack it head on.

Making resolutions of sorts. 252 to go…

You know, it is hard for me to write a year in review post because for me, the year goes from February 23rd of one year to February 22nd of the next. My year isn’t over until I turn 18. And I have so much that I want to say about this year of being the Dancing Queen, but I want to wait until we are closer to the end.

So everyone is making resolutions and I don’t know what mine are. I have submitted all of my college applications and I’m accepted somewhere, so I’m less stressed about that. I’ve been doing pretty well in school. I’m in a good place in my friendships. I’ve been working on my relationship with my parents. I’m doing alright.

I need to keep working on this think-less-about-boys-thing, I need to get more sunlight, I need to sleep more, I need to start training for (hopefully) hiking the Grand Canyon this summer and I need to think about joy. These are my have-to’s for the next couple of months.

I feel lighter than I have in a while. Maybe It’s my hair color or maybe It’s the sweaters. Who knows. But I love it.

Random Fact of the Day- A nautical mile is equal to 1.15 regular miles.

Question of the Day- What are your New years resolutions?

Mission of the Day- Make someone smile and then give them a hug.

Love you!


Choir is like fruitcake. 271 to go…

There is a certain beauty to doing things for the last time. That beauty is coupled with sadness. I guess it is a beautiful sadness. Cherishing the moment and the memories of times past but also thinking to an uncertain future.

I sang my last Christmas concert with my choir tonight. These are the moments when I’m hit by how quickly everything is changing. It feels like yesterday that I was delivering this same concert as a junior. But here I am… A senior. Gosh. That is beyond terrifying.

Standing on the risers singing the same arrangement of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas that we’ve sung every other year and I just cried. Singing that piece has been miserable and unfun every other year, and this year was no different. But it is those horrible things that we remember forever. Those horrible things that were traditions. The things we all secretly loved. Like fruitcake. It’s horrible and unfun, but it is a tradition that is cherished and that would be missed.

I have a hundred things going on in my brain. I have song stuck in my head that goes a little bit like this *to the tune of We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together “I am never ever ever getting into college” I have a boy on my mind. Why are boys so stupid? Why do they ignore you when you want them to notice you most? Why is growing up so hard.

Random Fact of the Day- a man named Aron William James Brown changed his legal name to: Aron Mufasa Columbo Fonzerelli Ball In A Cup Boogie Woogie Brown. Seriously.

Question of the Day- if you could legally change your name, what would you change it to?

Mission of the Day- point at someone random and say “I saw that!!!! You thought I wouldn’t see that, but I did… I’m on to you.” The do the two-finger I’m-watching-you thing and back away.

Love you!